Chapter 9 - Part Two - Modern Problems
PART TWO - MODERN PROBLEMS
10. THE WOMEN'S LIBERATION MOVEMENT: WHY?
11. FINDING A REAL HUSBAND: AVOIDING THE BUMS
12. WHY ALL WOMEN MUST BE MARRIED: FOUR GOOD REASONS
13. AVOIDING AND PUNISHING SEXUAL OFFENDERS
14. A MODERN MARRIAGE PROPOSAL
15. VARNASRAMA DHARMA: THE REAL SOLUTION
16. WOMEN'S LIBERATION AND BIG BUSINESS
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PART TWO - MODERN PROBLEMS
10. THE WOMEN'S LIBERATION MOVEMENT-WHY?
This brings us to modem times when everything concerning the above concepts has been forgotten or suppressed. Men in these Western countries are so degraded that they simply exploit women by not taking proper care of them or make any serious commitments. This is undeniably the reason for the women's liberation movement and nobody in their right mind can blame the women for reacting in this way. Unfortunately, becoming independent of men is not the solution. That makes the women's plight even worse for then they have little to no protection at all. Therefore we see so many millions of women living abominable lives alone and on welfare with no proper care and attention. This situation is despicable.
11. FINDING A REAL HUSBAND-AVOIDING THE BUMS
One of the main purposes of this chapter is to help women understand how to look for and recognize a real man, and avoid the bums who will gladly exploit them, and then leave them with children and no protection. Once finding a good man, the woman has to know how to properly care for him in order to keep him. Our complete book, of which this chapter is but a summary, will also go into detail on how men must behave with their wives in order to keep them happy. It is not that women are simply meant to be submissive slaves. The man must be responsible and mature, and the wife has to be faithful and submissive. If both those qualities are there in the couple, then they are guaranteed to live very happy and fulfilling lives, ultimately going back to Godhead together. If one or both are not there, then the marriage cannot possibly work. In that case all the parties suffer, the children usually the worst of all. So, even though there are less and less qualified men these days, that does not mean that the system of marriage should be abolished. Here are some of the reasons why it should be kept intact, but in the proper way:
12. WHY ALL WOMEN MUST BE MARRIED-FOUR GOOD REASONS
What happens if women decide they don't need to be married but can take contraceptives or get abortions to avoid pregnancy? They can get jobs to maintain themselves or, if they have children, go on welfare. A small percentage of women may find some temporary peace in these "solutions," but on a large scale it cannot possibly work. The reasons are many-fold:
First, children need two parents who both love them. That is the obvious and best condition for a child's mental health. Without that, they tend to grow up with problems. Then the whole society suffers in the future generation. That is happening now. AU these neglected children who were not conceived in holy wedlock, but were products of the sexual revolution, are the criminals of today. No need to say more on what that means for society.
Secondly, women still need/want the company and security of men. Many women claiming equality on the outside, are actually very insecure and unhappy inside. Men also suffer in this way but not as badly. Most single or divorced women will always have in their minds how to capture a man. This encourages illicit affairs, which in tum degrades society. Men who should be peacefully living at home with their wives or expanding their brains in school, will be distracted and tempted to enjoy sex with all these single, attractive women. The education level will naturally drop in society, and the adultery level will rise. Party-goers and womanizers are generally not very interested in study or spiritual life. The society then becomes animalistic as is seen in the West today.
Thirdly, there is disease. If God had intended for anyone and everyone to have sex with many partners, then He would not have created this world with venereal diseases. Venereal disease is nature's way of checking sex outside of marriage. Right now, we are seeing that nature is starting to check illicit sex to the point that one is almost guaranteed of getting one disease or another if he/she is promiscuous.
Fourthly, what happens to the state when millions of women and children are living on welfare? Who is actually paying for all this? Through taxes, it always works out that the honest, responsible men of society have to support the women who are impregnated by irresponsible men. In this sense, polygamy is indirectly taking place in this country, the only difference being we call it welfare. Factually, polygamy is a natural necessity in society, because there are always more women than responsible men. When polygamy is allowed, at least the women have a real husband and the children have a real father whom they can see and talk to. In the state welfare polygamy system, one man is still maintaining many women and children, but he does not love or even know them, since he is not the impregnating father. The impregnating father is some derelict who, in Vedic culture, would be labeled an untouchable. Thus, the caste system is the natural system designed by God to protect women from low-class men. Of course, where polygamy is legal, women may suffer to a minor degree due to having to share a husband, but at least the children have a father to call their own and the women are protected. So we think any sane woman will agree that it would be better to share one husband with another woman, and thereby have a loving father for her children, than to have no husband except the welfare check. Therefore Prabhupada says that societies that outlaw polygamy are demoniac. In one sense Prabhupada also condemned polygamy since the vast majority of his disciples were irresponsible to even one wife, but the principle of polygamy will ultimately be essential if illicit sex is to be avoided in society.
13. HOW TO AVOID AND PUNISH SEXUAL OFFENDERS
Before a man can accept even one wife, he has to be responsible enough to care for her properly throughout life. If one is irresponsible and unqualified to look after a family then he is labeled an untouchable and he is identified by his dirty clothes. Thus women are able to recognize and avoid such low caste men. Or one may be more interested in spiritual life. Then he is called a brahmacari or sannyasi. His orange dress identifies him and women can recognize and avoid him also. Neither of these men are allowed to talk with or even look at any woman in society, especially unmarried women. If they break this unspoken law, they are immediately caught and dealt with severely. The monk, if he is actually a monk, may be told to marry a girl, and the outcast, if he has actually polluted a woman, will be imprisoned. In pure Vedic culture he would immediately be executed. If he is simply caught flirting with a woman, he is whipped. This is nature's way, which is synonymous with Vedic way or God's way, of preventing unwanted progeny. It is not cruel, but it is required for any society that wants to protect itself from unwanted progeny and degradation.
14. A MODERN MARRIAGE PROPOSAL
For these reasons, the concept of women not marrying, but simply having sexual affairs with no real commitment, is out of the question. The other reaction by women, when confronted with the fact that few men are very qualified these days, is to say: "I will marry a man, but he will see me as his equal. We will share equally in all the responsibilities of family life. He won't tell me what to do. I won't tell him what to do. In that way, neither of us will be demeaned." This may appear to work. She may well be more educated than the husband; she may be more responsible as well. However, in response to this somewhat rational approach to the problem, we give the following arguments:
1) As explained above, men by nature have a different mental make-up. They generally find it very difficult to baby-sit. Some men, who are more feminine by nature, may be able to do housework and baby-sitting, but in general, men simply cannot tolerate a woman's work. Women, on the other hand, are being educated these days to do many different types of work. So they feel quite able to go to work at the office, 85 daily. This can work until the children are born. Then there are problems. One must have sufficient money to hire a nursemaid or have a grandmother willing to look after the children. No boss wants to hire a woman who has to take a few months off every couple of years to give birth to a child.
2) Then there is the other option of not having any children at all, to just marry, mutually go to work, and in this way, be able to have a steady partner for sex, movies, outings, sports, social events, etc., with all the money to do it. What could be the wrong in this kind of relationship? Well, put in simple terms, "That ain't the way God planned it." It may work for awhile, but it cannot possibly work for all of the people. One reason is people would cease to exist by this philosophy. Normal healthy women want children. Their bodies and minds were designed for that and no amount of artificial stimulation will substitute. Even Western women, with their modem educations, still feel that the ultimate goal of their lives would be to be able to find a really good man and raise a healthy happy family and live to be happy healthy grandmothers. Therefore, a more universal solution to the problem of irresponsible men is necessary.
15. VARNASRAMA-DHARMA-THE REAL SOLUTION
There has to be a solution that can be practically applied in society today, one which will gradually bring everyone to the real standard. That solution is called vamasrama-dharma, and the implementation of this system in society is absolutely necessary. But first it needs to be implemented in a true ISKCON society. Then, when it proves to work in ISKCON, it can be introduced to the world. But, instead of trying to implement this system in ISKCON, the current "leaders" of ISKCON are more interested in their own profit, adoration, and distinction, and as such their behavior is opposed to Vedic culture. In fact, ISKCON's leader are actively working against the introduction of the vamasrama system. Therefore these men must be removed so the serious disciples can get on with the second half of Srila Prabhupada's mission, namely introducing vamasrama-dharma to the world.
16. WOMEN'S LIBERATION AND BIG BUSINESS
Not just in Vedic culture but in all cultures of the world, including early American, women have always been treated with respect and caution. Chastity of women was considered a prime necessity to keep society pure and free from unwanted, criminal elements. But Vedic culture, because it is based on the most comprehensive body of revealed scriptures in the world, contains the most scientific and complete system of practically ensuring that women's chastity is preserved. Western women, when they read or hear about how Indian women are "kept down" foolishly think that "liberated women" are much better off. But this is a hoax created and encouraged by the big women exploitation businesses, such as pornography, prostitution, sex-based advertising, nightclubs, gambling casinos, etc. Other industries also thrive on "liberated women" such as the alcohol industry, fashion and clothing, cosmetics, pharmaceuticals, etc., etc., etc. All of these industries would lose most if not all of their business if women became simple, chaste housewives and the men stayed home with their wives and children. So let us take a practical look at the comparison between Eastern and Westem women. We have not found any surveys on these comparisons but having spent several years in India and having studied Indian culture extensively, these conclusions are very obvious.
17."LIBERATED" WOMEN vs."HELD DOWN" WOMEN
DRUG ADDICTION, No comparison. Indian women for the most part have never taken a drug for intoxicating reasons. The lower caste women sometimes chew pan, a mild drug. Many liberated women however are dependent on drugs to get them through the day and keep from having nervous breakdowns.
ABORTION, In India, until recently, it was illegal. But now, due to Western influence, it has become legal. Still it is done very seldom and then mostly in the big cities. The reason there is so little abortion is because there is hardly any illicit sex. The statistics in Western countries are astronomical. Modem medicine has not yet "discovered" the harm done by abortion, but Vedic scripture describes such reaction as very severe.
DIVORCE, No comparison. It practically does not exist at all in Eastern countries, especially India. The societies and families are too close knit. Often the marriages are arranged before the children have even reached puberty. In the West however, the divorce rate is somewhere around 50%. The problems from such a high divorce rate have a snowballing effect. Children become neglected. Grandparents suffer tremendously from not being able to see their loved ones. Child abuse becomes commonplace. Juvenile delinquency and then crime increases. Welfare for all these forlorn women and children taxes the honest workers who ultimately rebel, etc., etc., etc. The list could go on indefinitely.
RAPE AND SEXUAL CRIMES, No comparison. The punishment for such crimes in India is instant death if caught by the victim's family and no one will protest such justice. Otherwise prison. Indian prisons don't have color televisions either. If not death or prison, then one is stripped of his caste and therefore doomed to spend the rest of his life on the streets as an outcast. Because of the severity of the punishment, such crimes are so rare in India that they make national headlines. Need anything be said about this problem in Western countries. Pornography and sex-based advertising breeds such criminals who run rampant.
DELINQUENT AND RUNAWAY CHILDREN: Again, families are very close in Eastern countries. They generally stay together for life, and often you will find under one roof four generations, all very happily living together. Needless to say the concept of youngsters running away of leaving home in disgust is very, very rare. But in the West, very few families stay together. Usually the children leave home the moment they get a driver's license. The family unit in America is an imagination only, whereas in India, the family is still the most important institution in the country. Thus people are peaceful.
MARITAL VIOLENCE: Naturally there are always emotions in any family situation and no doubt the husband may occasionally strike his wife, but again, families are very close knit in India, and so, such occurrences are rare and not considered important. Just as a father may sometimes strike his son out of love to correct him, so a man may also sometimes also strike his wife. As Prabhupada says in hundreds of letters, "Discrepancies between husband and wife are never taken very seriously and there is never the question of divorce." In the West this is a tremendous problem. Daily women are being severely beaten by their irreligious, and barbaric husbands and the government cannot do anything since they are responsible for such degradation in the first place by allowing intoxication, pornography, meat eating, etc., etc., etc.
CHILD MOLESTATION OR ABUSE: In India, if such a thing occurred from outside the family; that person would be instantly killed or castrated by the family, so it is naturally very rare. Within the family, very rare if ever does such a thing occur. The reason being that there are very few sexual perverts in Eastern countries. In Indian movie houses, even today, they are not allowed to show lips touching in a kiss. Pornography is outlawed. Any form of sex outside of marriage is so severely condemned that such crimes are seldom even entertained in the mind, what to speak of carried out physically. We interviewed one young married man, a jeweler, and he told us that during his entire childhood right up until marriage, he had never talked of sex with other men or even thought of sex with women. He married at 22 years of age. Needless to say his mind was considerably more peaceful than this Western counterparts.
FAMILY UNITY: As mentioned above, the families always stay together and there is hardly ever less than three generations living in one house. The girls become a part of the husband's household and may not be living with her parents, but the sons are almost always intimately connected with the parents, right up until the parents die of old age. This is the natural system. There is no social security in most Eastern countries. The social security in India is called the family. And within the family, the sons are duty-bound to care for the parents in their old age. If they neglect this duty, they are outcast. But this is not at all objectionable since the sons enjoy the company of their parents. The young wife also likes to have the grandparents around to help care for all the children, help cooking, etc. The grandfather is usually good for helping around the house in so many ways. There is never a dull moment. If a father has three sons, quite often all the sons, along with their wives and at least three children each are living under the same roof with the grandfather and grandmother. Of course such houses are generally very large, but even if the family is not able to afford a large house, everyone is quite happy because they are all so close to each other. Being blood related, there is no fear of being cheated by outside business partners, a major problem in big Western corporations. As stated above, family unity in the West is almost an imagination.
RETIREMENT: Retirement in India for the ladies means to live with loved ones right up until death. There are no old folks homes in India where people are forced to five out their lives alone. Such a concept is unheard of except for those seriously engaged in spiritual practices. Then they are monks and they are the most happy people in the world because they have established communion with God. We cannot think of anything more pitiable than to see grandmothers and grandfathers forced to live out their lives alone in convalescent homes, hardly ever or even never seeing their children and grandchildren. But this is very common in the West.
EDUCATION LEVEL: Indian women generally don't get much education but instead stay home and learn all about how to be a good mother. In India today, women are getting a basic education, but generally they don't go beyond that. In the Western countries most women go to college and many become professionals in one field or another. This may be all right for those women who don't want to ever marry, but if a woman wants to be a housewife and raise a family, then her time would be better spent in teaming cooking, sewing, cleaning, decorating, painting, embroidery, flower arranging, etc.
SUICIDE RATE: In India, in the days when women were extremely chaste, they would often commit suicide when their husbands died since they felt helpless. They were completely devoted to their husbands and to die with the husband is the highest religious act a woman can do. This one act guarantees her elevation, along with her husband, to the heavenly planets or the spiritual world if they had qualified themselves. But other than this form of suicide which is called "sati" in Sanskrit, there is very little suicide in India since all women are protected and cared for very nicely. In the West of course there are many suicides, by both men and women. This is due to the unnatural, artificial lifestyles most Westerners live. They have lots of outer stimulation, but little to no inner peace and so they can't cope with the real problems of life.
HAPPINESS LEVEL: This is what it really boils down to in the end. Who is happier? The Indian women certainly don't have the same kind of intense sense gratification that the Western women "enjoy" such as discos, jet travel to distant lands, credit cards, fancy cars, microwave ovens, video movies daily, satellite television, etc. Indian women lead very simple and generally peaceful lives. There are some common expressions such as "Money can't buy love...... The best things in life are free...... Happiness comes from within." It is commonly known that a child playing with a very costly electronic toy, will not be enjoying himself any more than the child playing with rocks by the river bank. Happiness does not depend on external conditions but comes from within. The comparisons above, and these universally accepted truths clearly indicate that Indian women, although not as flashy, are indeed much happier than their Western counterparts.
18. CREATING AND PROTECTING A CLASS OF CHASTE WOMEN
So the point is, being a "liberated" woman is not necessarily the qualification for being a happy woman. Srila Prabhupada of course confirms this: "Independence for a woman means misery." He also says it means "prostitution." So even though chaste women are usually not as sophisticated, intellectual, flashy, daring, exciting, etc., as Western women, they are more steady, peaceful, healthy and most of all faithful and chaste to their husbands. There is no such thing as marrying a non-virgin in Vedic culture and adultery practically does not exist. So why do we stress the superiority of chaste women over "liberated" women? There is only one reason: spiritual life. For those persons who are actually on the level of human beings, that is, they use their developed consciousness for higher ends, such persons will be attracted to a simple but chaste wife. Those persons who are more interested in extracting as much sense pleasure as possible, in as short a period of time as possible, they will be looking for a Western wife. The readers of this book will be interested in spiritual life, and therefore we are interested in Teaming how to create and protect a class of chaste women, not "liberated" women. The next chapter shows why it is so difficult to convert Western women into Vedic women and how the leaders of ISKCON are not encouraging this change.