It is with both pleasure and hesitancy we present the teachings of His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada on marriage and women. It is done with pleasure because we hope to help sincere devotees live happier, and more Krsna conscious lives together. It is done with hesitancy because many women, at first glance, may be offended when they read some of the statements contained herein.

The purpose of this chapter is to prove conclusively how ISKCON women are being exploited. Before this can be done, however, it is necessary to clearly define the position and role of women according to the Vedas. Since this is a very complex and sensitive subject, containing many controversial points, such as women's rights and women's equality, we have broken this chapter down into three parts. We will prove, both scripturally and logically, in step by step format, what is the status of women in Vedic (spiritual) culture, how that status can be implemented in our Western society, and lastly, how ISKCON's leaders have totally ignored the women's real interest with the sole aim of exploiting them. Please keep in mind that this is only a brief summary of a book we are compiling which goes into all these points in much more detail. That book win include all of Srila Prabhupada's quotes on marriage, women, sex, and household life, and vamasramadharma both from his books as well as personal letters and lectures. For now, we hope this brief summary will help sincere devotees understand the basic principles given by Srila Prabhupada, and thereby avoid further exploitation by ISKCON's current "leaders." Please also keep in mind that all these ideas have been presented to the GBC and they have not been able to defeat any of them. Therefore, even if there were some flaws or mistaken interpretations in this chapter, the "ISKCON" GBC has not been able to find or defeat them. A summary of their official statement on this matter, as recently presented by the GBC Privilege committee, is given at the end of this chapter. If anyone would like all the documents by both sides on this matter, please send $5 to the address at the end of this chapter. Thank you.


All religions of the world agree on the basic principle that God loves everyone equally. Not only are men and women equal, but all living beings, including the lower species, are equal in the eyes of God. In Vedic culture, both men and women, in all the different levels of conscious development (caste system), are seen equally from the spiritual platform. As such there is no discrimination in the demeaning sense amongst the learned section of Hindus. Since Vedic culture means spiritual culture, all living beings are respected equally in India, even today. But that does not mean that everyone is seen equally in regard to their bodies and their respective duties in life.

It is exactly like the difference between a 1st grader in school and a second grader. They are not on the same level, but only a complete fool will consider the one to be inferior to the other. It is a small matter of time before they are equal as grown up and graduated adults. In this exact same way, all the different species of life are equal in the ultimate sense, but they are not at all equal in the relative sense. The system of defining those relative differences in the human species is called the vamasrama system, or commonly called, the caste system. According to the different castes, or bodies and minds, there are different types of propensities and duties one must perform. These differences are not by chance but are the results of one's own past good and bad deeds, or karma. In the beginning "God created all men equal." That is absolutely true, but according to ones pious or impious activities, everyone is not awarded an equal body in the next life. An souls are not on the same level in their activities. A common thief is not equal to a saint although the common thief may also become a saint one day. So, with this understanding, it would be sheer foolishness to claim that all bodies are equal as the communists preach. According to the Vedas, generally the female body and mind is not as far developed as the male body and mind. There are of course always exceptions, especially in this mixed-up age, but the general rule is, that women need a man for protection. In this age, and especially in the Western countries, it is very often the case that women are more pious and spiritually inclined than the men. Therefore it requires serious study to distinguish the difference between the two sexes for the practical implementation of Vedic culture.


In all the species of life, both the males and females have their respective roles to play. Those roles are very different and so the nature of men and women is very different. That holds true for the human species as well. To question or criticize God for creating us differently, one strong, and the other weak, etc., is simply foolishness.

This section is meant to show the difference between men and women in their natural states. That is, the consciousness they manifest when raised in a simple, but God conscious atmosphere, according to God's laws, and able to manifest their God given propensities. These natural propensities, or varnas, although covered over or latent in many Westerners, are still fully existing under the surface, and need to be recognized and awakened if we are to manifest our true potential and act accordingly. Part Two wig go into some of the problems our modem conditioning has imposed on us, and how we can gradually adjust to make the best use of a bad bargain. The following is a description of men and women as they live when raised in a healthy environment.


Women in Vedic culture are not neglected, intimidated, or disrespected in any way whatsoever. In fact, Indian women are adored for their chastity, purity and motherhood. Pregnant women in India are practically worshipped for carrying that burden so nobly. Srila Prabhupada has even stated that the closest thing in this world to spiritual love, is the love a mother has for her child. This love is a glorious thing and women should be proud of this ability, but at the same time, they should know that they can be misled and hurt more easily than men. For this reason they must be carefully protected in all stages of life. Women are generally more simple and softhearted than men. That is why women are able to cry and become emotional so much more easily than men. Softhearted is the word Prabhupada often uses although sentimental can be used synonimously. Women's minds take pleasure in simple things. This is not a demeaning quality. In fact, it is a glorious quality and more men could use some of that. But in women it is essential for if women were not endowed with this soft-hearted and simple nature, how could they possibly care for small children day after day? Men by nature get bored with child's play in a matter of hours or minutes, or even seconds. So if women were also like this, then who would look after the children. Therefore, women are naturally simple and softhearted. Again, this is not a defect, or a demeaning thing, but a glorious quality that enables them to care for their children without going insane. This ability in women, along with their chastity, are the real qualities that make a woman beautiful. How well society is able to keep those qualities intact in its women is directly related to how advanced the society is in spiritual culture.


Women, in their natural condition, simple and trusting, are generally happy to accept a good husband's directions. They may not like everything he says, but it is their nature to accept his order anyway to avoid a confrontation and keep peace in the family. Women can bear this since their priority, which keeps them very busy, is raising the children, of which there are usually many in Indian families. Generally they are quite happy to let the husband make money and deal with the outside world. When women artificially become overly educated and lose that simple nature, then the result is that no man can stay married very long to such an educated, but usually unsubmissive woman. The tendency in this case is to argue with the husband at the slightest provocation. Sometimes the wife may well have good reason to dislike the husband's order, but a man's psychology is such that he has to be in charge. Both his physical and mental make-up mandate it. In any organization, for peaceful cooperation, one person has to be the boss, whether he is the most qualified or not. In the family unit, the boss is the man. This is nature's law. So women by nature are endowed with the ability to tolerate a man's misbehavior and thereby keep peace in the family. When women lose this quality of simplicity and trust, then naturally there will be separation and ultimately divorce.


Women are the physically weaker sex and so are naturally inferior to men. However in this age of sophisticated weaponry, welfare systems, police forces, equal rights, etc., women are generally not intimidated by men because of their physical inferiority. A can of mace, a pocket .38 revolver, or a trip to the welfare office, will serve as adequate protection. Still, this physical difference gives clear indication that in nature, the woman is meant to serve the husband since she needs his protection. Without serving the husband, he will leave her unprotected. A woman without a husband is free game for rapists, thieves, etc., but if she is married, the criminal knows that the husband will not sleep until he gets revenge. Therefore women need husbands to protect them from so many atrocities by men.


Illicit sex for a woman means unwanted children and without a husband, these unwanted children simply mean suffering. Therefore intelligent women, take great pains to learn the practical method of keeping a husband devoted to them. In the West, they think it is by making themselves beautiful with cosmetics, perfumes, sexy clothes, intellectualism, etc. But that is not the real method. That method is also there in Vedic culture, but by far the most important qualification for a woman is her chastity. Only a man of the lowest, most abominable quality will impregnate a woman and then leave her if she is faithful and submissive. Such a mismatch seldom takes place in India. But if the wife is not submissive, but is always bickering and causing anxiety to the husband, then naturally he cannot tolerate her for very long. This is because he is struggling hard in the material world to earn money, and when he comes home, he needs peace, not argument. Therefore the Vedas teach; if the woman has any good sense, she will be as sweet and pleasing as possible, for that is the way to capture her husband and literally enslave him as her servant. But to do that, she has to play the role of surrendered, submissive, and faithful wife. This is just common sense.


Sastra says that women are many times lustier than men. That refers to bodily lust for sense pleasure. Women's bodies are more sensual than men's bodies. This is commonly accepted by modem psychologists also. Not only their physical bodies, but their mental and emotional make-up is also more sensual/sensitive than men's. They respond more readily to physical embraces, as well as mental embraces, and this tendency is natural in women. It has its practical function in raising children. Everyone knows the nature of small children. They are extremely affectionate and energetic. A mother, in her normal state, will have at least 37children and be quite happy. It takes a lot of physical and emotional support to properly raise all the children with the constant love and affection they require. A man's mind tends to be more on the mental, intellectual plane and he generally cannot enter onto a child's simple plane of existence for very long. The simple, ahnost constant pleasures of physically embracing the bodies and minds of many small children requires that women have not only a more simple but a more sensitive nature. This is one explanation of why women are declared to be more lusty or sensual than man. This word sensual can also be interpreted asl ove/lust since the mother is both enjoying her children (lust) and she is at the same time giving them the attention they need for a healthy upbringing (love).


The scriptural statement that women have 9 times more sex desire than men is difficult to explain but it is a fact that women are able to remain physically and emotionally affectionate much longer than men. Therefore the example is given in sastra that Kardama Muni had to expand himself 9 times to fully satisfy his wife's sex desire. This does not necessarily mean that a woman must have intercourse 9 times more than men. If sex energy is seen as an energy in the body then it is understood that women need to engage that energy in physical and emotional exchanges whereas men can more readily vent their sexual energy on the mental/ intellectual plane. It is stated in Ayur-veda that mental work is many times more consuming than physical work which would explain why men and women differ so much in their sexual/energetic needs. Of course, men, in the healthy state, will be intellectually inclined, but in the present age, here in the West especially, we find men wasting their mental energy looking at pomographic magazines or going to pomo movies, etc. Womenhowevergeneraflydonotderivepleasureinthisway. They derive pleasure from the actual physical/emotional contact, whereas men can take pleasure directly from the mental stimulation in these magazines, etc. This is why women are not interested in such visual images and are seldom seen loitering at pomographic stands. They are physically sensual/sensitive by bodily make-up whereas men are mental/intellectual sensitive by bodily make-up. Therefore it is sometimes said that women are nine times lustier than men. This refers to the woman's need for physical embraces, etc.


So with these considerations in mind we can see that women by nature are made differently than men and for very good reasons. One has to be more practical. He has to mak emoney, build things, fix things, invent things, etc. He has to be endowed with more creativity. She has to look after the children, do the cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc. She has to be soft-hearted and more simple by nature. If both man and woman had the same physical, mental, intellectual make-up, then it simply wouldn't work. God made women for one job and men for the other. They are two distinct jobs requiring two completely different types of psychological makeups to perform them. No amount of protest on the part of today's women will ever be able to change that simply because women have wombs and breasts which produce children, and men don't.